“We step into marriage fully unprepared.” ~Winifred Reilly
Winifred felt she needed to write the book, and noted that she initially started the book as a collection of her clients’ stories, but after traveling down this particular path for a time she realized that it was very boring. Winifred then realized that writing her book as a personal story would be more effective, and so wove in the story of her own marriage as one of the book’s themes, with the other two being the story of her training and the stories of her clients.
Winifred notes that, where marriage is concerned, everyone is in the same boat, so therapists couldn’t hide behind the curtain of authority to be effective. She also notes that the skills necessary to maintain a marriage long-term are learned along the way, rather than learned prior to marriage.
Winifred remarked that people try to agree, to create consensus, rather than figure out what to do when they disagree. Agreeing to disagree means that people can’t come to any conclusion, and while this might be okay for relatively minor things, this doesn’t work with deeper issues, such as having another child or moving out into the country. Winifred notes that partners need to tolerate one’s spouse disagreeing with one, and that staying connected with oneself while remaining open to the other is a fine art.
Winifred notes that there is no formula for how people take a stand. She does, however, point to a developmental model of marriage which was devised by psychotherapists Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, who run the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California, which has five stages of marriage:
- Courtship, where the couples agree on everything;
- Difference, where the couple assert their preferences which are different from their partners, which then results in conflict;
- Couple can express their feelings and handle conflicts with each other;
- More separateness, such as doing activities without their partner;
- Moving back to each other with a mutual sense of longing for reconnection, this time being on a deeper level.
Purchase from Amazon: It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse - and How You Can, Too by Winifred Reilly.
Awesome! Just recently heard an in-depth interview with Winifred Reilly The Art of Charm Podcast. http://bit.ly/AoCWinifredReillyReplyDelete
How is your marriage going? Be honest…how is it ACTUALLY going?
If you’re reading this e-mail right now, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad, that you feel like your world is falling apart.
You feel like all the passion, the love, and romance have completely faded.
You feel like you and your wife can’t stop yelling at each other.
And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.
But you’re wrong.
You CAN save your marriage — even if your wife says she wants to get a divorce. You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and watch this quick video that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world:
=>Save Your Marriage Now (VIDEO)<=
In this video, you’ll learn the three critical mistakes that most couples commit that rip marriages apart. Most couples will never learn how to fix these three simple mistakes.
You’ll also learn a simple, proven “Marriage Saving” method that makes marriage counsellors look like kindergarten teachers.
So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to watch this quick video:
Make Your Wife Adore You Again ==> Fix Your Marriage – Start Making HAPPY Memories<=
You’ve got nothing to lose.
All the best,
PS. Just take 3 mins to watch the video.. if you don’t, you may miss the one tip that could save your marriage. Click here: =>Transform Your Marriage in Minutes<=
Here, were you could change the cost of all faith.Do you need spiritual help, spell caster to cure all kind of diseases pregnancy spell, financial spell, business promotion spell, ex back spell, love spell, revenge spell, lupus and many more.Then you are welcome to my herbal home. DM ??for any spiritual help, contact me on WhatsApp: +38972751056 or Email:email@example.comReplyDelete