"I've had the most divine, glorious, perfect life a person could have... I'm so fortunate... The best is yet to come!" ~Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist, professor of psychology and a media commentator. She prides herself in bringing a fresh, real, and authentic clarity to befuddling psychological issues which come down to just three things: food, love, and lust.
Alexander's first question during the was: "Why food, love, and lust? These three things seem disparate, so why bring them together?" Author Ramani answered by saying she's interested in the things that make up day-to-day life and what people in society struggle with. In her career, she'd established that people struggle with issues that deal with things like appearance, weight, and health, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to "love" - whether it's self-love, love of another, love of a child, or love of what you do. So, they're all in that space where her private practice and field of study is built on.
Ramani's primary interest is human relationships, which have so much to do with how people feel about themselves, the things they strive for, and how supported they feel in the world. Her bottom-line interest in all of this is the quest of each human being to be the best they can be and this covers how they treat themselves in their individual disparate journeys. Her latest book, Should I Stay or Should I Go?, tackles one of these journeys which is sometimes taken by women in general - getting into a relationship with a narcissistic partner.
According to Ramani, narcissism in a relationship is not something that is often acknowledged by the affected party. There's the sense that changing with, or adapting to the narcissistic person can allow things to get better, but therein lies the problem. For Ramani, it's something that can't be changed, thus the affected person is actually in a position to make a choice on whether to stay in the relationship or go break away from it.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is where readers can find essential tools they can use to be the winner in such a relationship wherein narcissism is a debilitating factor. Ramani has gained plenty of insights from people who've had to deal, or are still dealing with a narcissistic partner. The contents of the book are based on real-life stories of clients (their privacy maintained) and case study researches. It's both a how-to book and a survival guide for those affected to be the best they can be and live the life that they've always wanted in spite of their partner's narcissism.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? reflects Ramani's passion in helping women. She has this tremendous desire to work in regions of the world where vulnerable women and girls do not have support they need. She is drawn to India where she sees herself helping give a voice to women. Her family is from India so the country has always had a pull for her, but she's interested in Asia in general and sees herself backpacking in different countries and helping people. A 9 to 5 job? Not her kind of thing!
Writing has given Ramani her freedom and has allowed her to set such an interesting path for herself being a mother and all. It's something that she highly recommends to other women with children who have the same passion. "I honestly think I'm not quite there yet," she admitted. "I have loved, loved, loved being a mother, however, I'm kind of good with not doing that day-to-day anymore. It's sort of going to the next phase, watching my daughters blossom wonderfully but now focusing on some of the work that matters to my heart, so I have a feeling that the phase of my life that I want to live is coming in five years... I've had the most divine, glorious, perfect life a person could have... I'm so fortunate... The best is yet to come!"
Watch: Dr. Ramani Durvasula's interview on AuthorStory
Purchase on Amazon: Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship